A piece of you ..

As every busy day passes by, I realize how everybody needs a piece of you

.. The husband wants to book a vacation and needs one week from you

… The boss needs you to pull of a major release

.. A sick child – situation demands you stay at home and prepare kanji for him

— Colleagues demand your presence for a treat, get your sick child along they say. I wonder how. with a sick child

— Your family needs you to wish them on weddings, birthdays (even as an impending release stares at your face and delaying a product release would mean a mega dollar loss for your company).

.. Your family wants you to be better at numbers – 20th wedding anniversary, 15 birthday etc etc … Boy ! wish math was easier.

..the extended family needs you for funerals

.. People on social media want you to promote their products

.. Juniors in team need you at the same time, to solve 2 different issues.

…A fellow mom suddenly needs you and all your kiddie books, remember I never existed before ! . A friend in need a friend indeed !

.. You are needed to like every post and comment on some friends list. Remember ! on social media its all about – I scratch your back, you scratch mine !

And when you turn 60 or 70, suddenly not many need you

… Your boss may have forgotten you . There is a small chance you may meet on a social networking site if it exists still

… Your daughter-in-law may not need you . VERY LIKELY !

— Your son may need his kids, his job and his wife more than you

— Your spouse may need be the only person that needs you to fetch tablets  and for companionship!

… Your kids may need you , to share their worries and accomplishments, if you cared enough to spend time  with them NOW

….Have you ever wondered who needs you ?? A piece of you ? every moment ? every day


Daddy Dating …

Daddy X had an adoptive daughter. I had a son all of 2.5 years. Oh what fun we had.

the little boy  and the little girl

For once, here was someone that was not judging me

…because I sent the son all day to the daycare ,

… here was someone not bothered that the son ate all day at the daycare

… here was a daddy that didn’t get jealous because I pulled off as a software junkie.

…. not jealous because I set fancy Facebook status…

… and finally not judging me because I choose MTR sambar powder than something else

…and what a blast we had. Every evening, the girl came running, so did  my 2.5 year old boy.

… we played videos, we played, they shared food, they fought, I played referee,  ate pooris of the same plate.

…Daddy X dropped her at my place and fetched her an hour later

… Every evening, the girl cried when he came to fetch her.

…Daddy X and mommy me, with the 2 kiddos packed ourselves one August evening, in his small Reva , the kids giggling and creating a ruckus on the back seat and off we went behind the apartment complex to watch a Ganesh pandal

It was a tad bit embarassing – 2 adults, 2 kids – what if people mistook us to be one family

But the thoughts were drowned by the giggles and toddler banter of the little boy and the little girl who were now wearing mismatched shoes – he wearing hers, and she wearing his !

Daddy X and me revelled in the camaderie the kids shared – two little toddlers, two little bums prostrating before a Ganesha ,  much to the amusement of the colony

All that mattered was the kids found a friend in each other.

… and we changed our home.

Daddy X and his adoptive daughter lay hidden in our memories


Today we bumped into Daddy X and daughter X at a birthday party

It didn’t take very long for not-so-little-boy and I-have-grown-taller girl to relive their friendship

… They ran chasing each other

…. and I was delighted to meet this daddy .

…and Daddy X did not disappoint – he pulled out his cell , noted down my number earnestly and scribbled our home address.

…and promised to visit with his daughter .

no fake smiles, no hidden jealously

.. The reason was simple – to get kids to play and entertain themselves

…. So we await Daddy X and daughter.

…Now ain’t dating daddies the easiest .

Now if only mommy dating was this easy !

Rail Sneham

Was at the same park last evening. Watched the son play , run and chase kids.

Kids he met for the first time.

Kids, he may or may not meet the next time round

Kids from similar families as us

Kids from not so posh families

Nevertheless kids..

all out to play, with their families

A poignant moment , where a 2 year old from a not so rich middle class family, held the bat and the son bowled and they played for a looong time  , even as the not so rich dad, and “not very rich but ok” mom like me , smiled as we watched them play

Cutting through social barriers , a government park is where you see every one have fun – irrespective of where you stand in a society.

… A  beautiful park.. and what made it even more beautiful was a bunch of volunteers that was doing the voter ID card registrations all this weekend

..we are happy or what in this space !

Keep the crap away

Thank god, schools today have redefined how they look at education and kids

As a kid, I watched it  in close quarters how your mom laughing , smiling and sending a rose to the class teacher can mean , you being made the class leader or getting the first rank. So in this small town that we got raised, most moms did not work. So that meant standing at the school gate and indulging in politics, from meeting teachers privately or simply  gossiping about other moms and kids

And this went on and on, over years. It broke our hearts.

Though I must admit I have a fair share of pleasant memories of stage performances that bring back warm memories. But what about the other 40 odd kids ( a class had 60 kids  in average) that did not go on to stage and didn’t get to perform ? Somewhere, someday, some little heart was broken because the same set of kids were performing year after year . Nothing got spoken because there was always a fear to talk back against a class teacher

I guess the ones that never got the 1st rank,never went on stage,  No body ever helped them write essays. The ones that got the 1st rank represented the school. 

In a way, it meant, the ones that stood 1st or 2nd had talent – everybody else stood no chance

The ones like me that mugged up and vomited on paper , got ranks, and got selected.

The rest bitched about the rank holders , a clear divide was formed.  I went on to mark some of my own as bullies.

I add them on to facebook , still remembering them as bullies from childhood

What made them bullies? Was there a deep resentment among st a few ? Was it their way of attention seeking. Sadly no one knew these words. Its only now, we know the many reasons why a child may turn a bully

The son pulled off a show yesterday and with great admiration for schools and teachers, I can say every child in K.G participated, either in a group dance or something similar. But mind you ! every child . Irrespective of whether they color, or write a capital “A” or Z perfectly!

And its a very doable thing – if only we segregated annual days as KG annual days, primary annual days and such. Unfortunately, in my days , we only had one annual day where every one from 6th to 12th pulled off a show on the same stage , the same day , giving very little chance to every student.

And  I neither have the time nor the will to stand at a school gate doing “muska”/buttering to a class teacher. Every school has a security at the gate. Unless I have a appointment or a family emergency I cannot go beyond a point .

The son goes in his school bus. He will learn to battle politics , fights, kattis and friendships, on his own. Very important life skills  – I will say

After all it gets murky when adults join in child politics

And as for the PTM’s , we meet the teacher , talk exactly to the point and are back at office desks – to pull off a corporate battle

..Thank god to our busy lives. In many ways we keep the crap away

Am I talking too soon? I only hope it remains the way it is.

Red Rouge and lipstick

The son pulled off his first performance in school – with red rouge and lipstick on his face 🙂

He stood erect and silent for the national anthem

He says it was taught in daycare. “You should stay calm and silent for national anthem” ..his words

Reminds me of the many stage performances we did in Neyveli. Ours being a Thermal power corporation , there was always a PM or the president visiting, inaugurating something and schools always put up a show

Reminded of dance practice in stadiums, drills, classes bunked for practise, the biscuits distributed, the color dress specially designed and stitched

It felt today I was reliving all those memories – what with the son getting his special dress from school the other day in his bag , he munching the cake and tetra pack juice provided by school – leaving him with very many memories for the days to come

..and I must admire and take pride. that he got everything home the other day , after a day spent in school bus (high chances of losing stuff), daycare – not a piece missing from the special costume

..life rushes past. And we live our memories through our kids

Here’s wishing him many pleasant memories of rehearsals and performances in the years to come

Here I was worrying if we will even catch the school bus. and the year is drawing to a close in 3 months .

The Sunset

Took the kid to a nice maintained park yesterday

It was close to sunset time and birds were flying together , back home. 

..And I instantly realized, even birds are privileged to head home by evening

Its only us – the software junta that stay put well past 7 PM, peering through P1 bugs, status calls 

… and consider ourselves lucky to see a sunset on certain days we step out of office by 6:30 PM. to see the evening sunset

As much as we love to argue on the stay at home and working mom scenario, aren’t kids of working moms severely lacking physical activities if they are holed up in day cares , well past 7 PM.

…but still we pull along, day after day, because in the current generation, every one expects you to work, you want to work, and you argue, if not this , then what  , school teacher ? admin staff somewhere, you argue about well paid insurance for aging parents .. 

… and in the bargain, forget that your kids and you , don’t get to see sunsets everyday

… gone are the days when kids played in the playground in the evenings and headed home in dirty clothes by 7 PM

Today many kids , hop on to cars by 7:30 PM from day cares

What a pity

In our quest to prove ourselves to the world, are we robbing childhood from them



Met A.K , my roommate after a gap of 1.5 years

Felt happy she always ensures she visits me before she leaves for US

And this time we spoke a lot , from the heart, about jobs, stress, work loads, kids, families, parents , pets (yeah she has one), lack of babies, current generation….

Lot more emotional than our previous meeting

…and of course how can we miss. professional competition and how it can kill us from within

Thankfully I have a son to unwind to. which she lacks

Kids can be a blessing. I can tell you how!

I get back home everyday, convincing myself that if I didn’t have the job, I could spend all day raising a kid in the most fruitful way I can ever dream of

..and how conversations of a mom can always steer towards quitting job , an additional child while that of someone that doesn’t have a baby stays on women and their independence and their calling 😉

amusing …

She will visit a year later . How would our lives have changed ?