Relish Life. Savor it


Life events – of joy, of happiness, of get togethers, of good food and above all accomplishments

Accomplishments – that you manage to achieve amidst the daily rush, the achievements you manage to  gain single handedly, amongst tears and frustation

Do you get time to savor your accomplishments ?

Or does the maddening mundane rush of bugs, releases , conference calls and “Business as usual” dampen your celebratory spirit

Remember the bugs bring home the mulla , the money.

It helps you pay the insurance for the birth of the baby – if its a birth you are celebrating

The job helps you apply a bank loan – if its a home you are celebrating

So do you feel the mundane pressure of job and deliverables as a hindrance to your enjoying your life event ?

Or is it some thing that enabled your life event

If life @work is in deep shit , can you still savor your life event ? How successful you are in life depends on how successful you can detach from your thoughts ? ain’t it.

..Sometimes I ponder and cannot find an answer

I cannot waste time mulling over these thoughts.

Hence Winding up – Its business as usual. Mind it !

P.S : Added later, Happened to read this on the news. So I guess priorities go to families unanimously., Remember bugs happen every day. But we don’t make  love  babies everyday nor do we build homes every day

The right to brood


If there is one additional advantage that men possess – I would call it the right to brood

Brood, to show deep unhappiness of thought. To ponder over issues, find solace and solutions

I have watched the husband do that in his previous job. He was handling tough people, tough bosses , tough work and what not. Every evening he would lie on the sofa, look afar , at the cieling and brood- pondering over issues.

Now as a working mom, I see how women cannot brood. On the way back from work, I try to brood. My son points to a house under construction and asks what is happening. I say they are constructing a house. He answers back asking a lame “Why”

At 3+, he is now the why why boy. He always ends up his conversation with a why. Why are we climbing stairs. Why are we entering this place. Why are they playing. Why is it not raining…Why is the doctor not there.

…as a mom, I think you cannot brood. You may face same situations at the work place as men. But you need to stay cheerful and answer questions .

So rather than find solutions to why a process is failing, why some behaves the way he does, why we fail as a team, I am seen pondering over why the sun has to hide behind a cloud or why the fox needs to eat Red Riding Hood

Is that fair at all.? The losing the right to brood and find solutions

The Rat Race


This new trend seems to be a craze

 Where we chase each other in a rat race

 

Whom does he call mom I ask

 she says, Such a question you may not ask

Shouldn’t life be about multiplying our love

 Why then do we distance our love

Judging another mom ain’t fair

 Ain’t I just another mom that dumped an infant in the daycare

Ain’t this rat race a little funny

where we throw the babies in the hands of daycares and nannies !

I penned this poem when I met a colleague @ the cafeteria. Her 2 year old is being raised by his grand mom in a different city.

Wanting to fly with clipped wings….


My friend on the phone to me : I work for T**, deployed at C** office.You know they have 200 databases, all of them are RAC enabled, they are PCP configured too. There is sooo much to learn.I am on support project, loads of issues to solve on this environment. even development and test env is on RAC . You know V!!  we only learn when we get hands dirty on support projects.

Me : Awwwh !! that’s so nice. how you managing. I mean do they comment if you can’t solve any of those ??? ( fully knowing what kind of knowledge me and her possessed in our previous jobs !

Her : so far ok! But I need to put in lots of efforts. The environment is very complex .I stay uptil 7 PM and take a volvo back home.I reach by 9 P.M every single day. I need to give in my best for the next 6 months till I settle down.

Me( By now my face fell.. the hopes of seeing myself working on that environment had subsided). How do you manage ?? what about the baby?

Her : so far ok! husband leaves office early so that he is home for the baby.  But you know, no time for the kid yaar!!! no reading to him… he just plays all day on his own. I didn’t have to ask any further. She was a close friend, She stayed with in-laws who took care of the baby all day  while the parents were away.

Me : (partly jealous, party acknowledging).. hmm I know. I don’t think I can survive something like that. I don’t think I can walk in every day at 9 P.M. you know too well, I don’t have a support system. I don’t think my husband would like if I walked in at 9 P.M every day!!!…and my kid falls sick often.. How will I manage such a tough environment

….

I sit back at my desk now, wondering who and what defines one’s career. In the job role that me and friend are in, we can be called into work anytime of the day or night !! These are the only environments you learn a lot as a techie for our domain.Can a mother survive that?Can you survive sitting at the desk for 18 hrs at a stretch…??? Can you call in at work and say my kid fell sick when you are responsible to attend to critical databases running 24*7? Can you login on a sat/sun for maintanance on env’s ???Can you rush to different regions of a city on a motor cycle , doing fire fighting for various banks/clients when their systems go down ? Can you miss coming back home one night and stay put uptil the fire is dozed at work ?Can you work on shifts? Can you login at 6 A.M for a support call , just when your toddler wakes up asking for that glass of milk?

Do we jump into Engineering blindly because the dad/brother/neighbour is into Engineering? Did you do a B.E because medical seats are far too difficult for open category !!! and a doctor’s job is all the more difficult. A lady in the apartment works night shift while her 6 yr old and 2 yr old is taken care off by grand parents+ a full time aaya. Some one in the play area once commented, the aaya is the mom because she is the one available 24/7 for the children!  The aaya is the biggest support system they have now.

Today my friend from the girl’s hostel works from home as an architect. She took a break when she had her first baby. She went back to work when the baby turned 2, did some small projects on her own.She is doing a small project for us now,telling us firmly before hand, come June she would not devote time since she is expecting her second. She doesn’t earn as much as an engineer does, but she possesses the flexibility that an engineer lacks in his/her profession.

Can you as an Engineer take the break that she took? Wouldn’t you worry that technology moved faster than you would catch up with ????

Do we make disastrous career decisions as women?