Relish Life. Savor it


Life events – of joy, of happiness, of get togethers, of good food and above all accomplishments

Accomplishments – that you manage to achieve amidst the daily rush, the achievements you manage to  gain single handedly, amongst tears and frustation

Do you get time to savor your accomplishments ?

Or does the maddening mundane rush of bugs, releases , conference calls and “Business as usual” dampen your celebratory spirit

Remember the bugs bring home the mulla , the money.

It helps you pay the insurance for the birth of the baby – if its a birth you are celebrating

The job helps you apply a bank loan – if its a home you are celebrating

So do you feel the mundane pressure of job and deliverables as a hindrance to your enjoying your life event ?

Or is it some thing that enabled your life event

If life @work is in deep shit , can you still savor your life event ? How successful you are in life depends on how successful you can detach from your thoughts ? ain’t it.

..Sometimes I ponder and cannot find an answer

I cannot waste time mulling over these thoughts.

Hence Winding up – Its business as usual. Mind it !

P.S : Added later, Happened to read this on the news. So I guess priorities go to families unanimously., Remember bugs happen every day. But we don’t make  love  babies everyday nor do we build homes every day

The right to brood


If there is one additional advantage that men possess – I would call it the right to brood

Brood, to show deep unhappiness of thought. To ponder over issues, find solace and solutions

I have watched the husband do that in his previous job. He was handling tough people, tough bosses , tough work and what not. Every evening he would lie on the sofa, look afar , at the cieling and brood- pondering over issues.

Now as a working mom, I see how women cannot brood. On the way back from work, I try to brood. My son points to a house under construction and asks what is happening. I say they are constructing a house. He answers back asking a lame “Why”

At 3+, he is now the why why boy. He always ends up his conversation with a why. Why are we climbing stairs. Why are we entering this place. Why are they playing. Why is it not raining…Why is the doctor not there.

…as a mom, I think you cannot brood. You may face same situations at the work place as men. But you need to stay cheerful and answer questions .

So rather than find solutions to why a process is failing, why some behaves the way he does, why we fail as a team, I am seen pondering over why the sun has to hide behind a cloud or why the fox needs to eat Red Riding Hood

Is that fair at all.? The losing the right to brood and find solutions

Apathy


As if I am taking school attendance, I tried my very best to convince people to vote, the people in my team and the ones in my office cab. Out of 11 in total in my team, I guess only 3 of us voted. We happen to be long timers in Karnataka. 2 of them are new to town. However I am appalled at the attitude of the rest, for not possessing a voter ID card.  The ugliest remark should go to that person that collects all cards – from voter id’s to Aadhar without fail but told me over lunch “It would be too hot to go out and vote”.But the same person intended to do shopping at a mall by 4 P.M.

Another said “Anyways, all politicians are the same”

Another said “But I have my card in U.P” . I ask “Seriously are you gonna travel the distance if there ever was a election in UP?

Another said the documents was handed over to “someone”. That someone lost the papers ! Too much delegation aey???

Another in my cab, beaming “Me and my husband” don’t take interest in politics.

But then can we blame such people at all . How can we get people from other states interested in local politics when all that we follow diligently is caste politics. How would a Gowda or a Lingayat talk interest some one from UP or Bihar or Rajasthan?

But I don’t see us moving away from caste politics at all

It was heartening to know one friend from Bihar caste his vote with his wife. I “liked” his  inked finger and was generous with my comment on facebook.

I am glad I voted this time with my Voter ID card and didn’t have to carry a PAN card or passport as document. My name was deleted from the list. I pursued the task of getting a voter id card very earnestly., not sitting idle after posting to the addresses mentioned in the smart vote website. I also went and handed over my documents at a local office tagging my son along on a weekend. Many things happened, the one I did online was rejected for documents missing. Meanwhile my name appeared in the list of voters. and finally the in-charge in my apartment passed me the hardcopy of the card . Now I don’t know if I got my card because “they” corrected the deleted candidates list on their own, or by virtue of me submitting docs at a local office or the one done online.

As for us, we were done with the voting by 7:20 AM. We went early , as though we were eager to caste our vote to a very favourite candidate

Me sharing Loksatta party candidates profiles on facebook actually did’nt go un-noticed.One friend told me he got reminded of me and was looking for Loksatta symbol while he stood deciding whom to vote

Another asked me if I voted for Loksatta

Looks like, every one was looking to vote for Loksatta , however sadly they didn’t have candidates for all areas in Bangalore/

So we await the results. The mood was not upbeat at all by late evening , having read the headlines at IBNLIVE.

Another socially relevant topic


All around me I see friends having a baby no 2 after a gap of say 3 or 4 years. My friend had her in-laws and her parents alternate every few months to take care of their first.Somehow day cares left their daughter very sick and hence the arrangement. She herself had a very difficult 1st pregnancy what with being asked to stay in bed for a few months.

Nothing deterred them from planning a baby no 2. I talk here of modern Indian households- where women work in software firms, draw handsome-salaries, hold managerial roles and are in no mood to give up a career.

I sat in a recent team outing discussing with 2 other mommies about kids, how they manage etc etc. One said having a baby soon after her wedding was what the family intended. The intention was to have one when the ladies (read grand moms and great grand moms ) were still in good condition.

Somehow in many Indian households , grand parents default as day care providers.India is  only slowly waking up to the day care concept. If grand parents were to double up as parents in the initial 3-4 years, one key parameter that would play a major role is their health condition. I had my mom-in-law help a lot with the initial 3 months when we had our first.She would stay up late and not shy away from rocking the new born to sleep in the dead of the night. In 3 years, I have watched her health detoriate too .Remember, parents age faster than you do and most grand moms are also dealing with their own health issues such a menopause

That makes me bring an important question. Career, finances may be 2 major questions that may crop up when you plan a baby .

Do modern Indian couples also consider the age of their parents when they plan their babies.Shouldn’t then discussions also be drawn with grand parents and consensus taken from them if they default as primary day care providers for kids ?

That also brings up another topic – Is it better to have babies in the early or mid 20’s like the previous generation , so that when your children reach their 30’s, you can help with the upbringing of your grand children?

My mom was 53 when she had her first grand child and was a VERY HANDS-ON grandmom

P.S : My friend’s M-I-L blatantly refused to relocate temporarily to US to help with her 3rd delivery. It took a lot of -if-you-don’t-help-how-will-I-manage dialogues to get her the U.S

In a way it proves , not to take any help for granted. Planning a 2nd or a 3rd definitely needs  to be discussed with parents if you intend to take their help or ask them to relocate ! Let us not take parents for granted !