The wife, the Nurse

It has been a very tiring and fruitful day what with us finishing our yearly health check up . While my reports have been a 200/200, my husbands’ has raised alarm bells what with his cholesterol reaching concerning levels

So I was seen transforming into a caring wife, caring nurse et all, what with monitoring with the food being cooked, to quickly browsing the net for recipes, fetching his medicines , bringing homes lots of fruits, cutting and placing it with a fork in his hand while he laid legs stretched watching an English movie with the son

And even as I walking back home , I was wondering if I should wake up by 5:30 AM instead of 6 AM so that I can cater not only to my sons school formalities, but also keep a healthy breakfast plus fruits ready for the husband. Often the husband is seen in a rush just as I walk back after dropping the son to his school bus

… Call my brain a typical Jekyll and Hyde brain. Even as I was walking back, the feminist me took over and mused why a 37 year old man is incapable of cutting fruits and eating on his own . Even in the bus stop I have seen a fellow house wife grapple with a husband rushing off to work even as she is still waiting to drop her daughter at the bus stop. I even asked her once why the husband cannot drop if she has breakfast to be done for him . After all she wakes up at 4 AM , what with a son that goes to tuition s at 5:30AM for his ICSE 10th std exams

What makes women voluntarily take roles of nurses and care takers ? even as our Indian men get to enjoy star status, I dont disagree that men share a HUGEEE responsibility what with fetching plumbers, taking care of loans and investments which women  try to avoid.

Even as I was browsing for recipes based on cholesterol, I saw pages begin stating ” So , as a wife you are concerned with your husbands cholesterol. Advertisements too have the husband taking ill and the wife playing the role of a nurse

Would we see a change where the wife is shown as the patient and every one from the husband to the in-laws fetching fruits, de-seeding them and placing it in front of her with a fork as she sits legs stretched in front of the TV



A famous bookstore. Crowded with kids of all ages. It’s childrens day, Stories, puppets and lots of noise

Whose listening anyway. Each kid is only looking at another that is dressed up as either spiderman or batman

The stories get over. The story teller allows kids to pet the frog puppet in her hands

A blind boy. All of 2 years. stretches his hands all over the place trying to feel the puppet, even as the others prance and try to grab the green frog

Poignant moments. Tears well up. You fight the tears and look away.

…and feel blessed for the things that we take for granted

….Love your child, irrespective of them being blind.autistic. or a slow learner

because every child is special

Happy Childrens day again !

I am liking it ! amma …

Hammer in hand, a little 8 year old sits in her balcony on a rainy Diwali morning bursting the inane pottu pattasu of the previous year . It can be weird like that you know. It used to rain on some Diwali mornings. It can be boring when it rains on Diwali. Even more boring if you have pattasu from the previous year that fails to ignite. And this rainy diwali has etched itself on my grey cells for many years now. It was a diwali that didn’t exist for us. Born in a TamBrahm family meant every few years not celebrating at all – what with distant cousins of the father, grand fathers, kollu pattis and thathas passing away. And what is smirk worthy is that you only mourn when a distant cousin from the fathers side passes away . Technically speaking you could even go ahead and marry even if a close grand parent from the mothers side passes away. oh well that’s a discussion worthy of another post altogether. Lets get back to the ganga snaanam business

As kids, we felt very disappointed with such Diwalis – we missed the badushas amma made, the pattasu  that was so carefully bought so as not to surpass the budget or the only  other occasion other than a birthday when we got new clothes.

So passing away of a distant aunt or a thatha meant no diwali – no badushas, no hoopla surrounding the diwali galatta.

This Diwali reminds me of that diwali in Neyveli, where I sat bursting the previous years crackers. The father in law who was very very dear to us passed away. We have been ingraining no diwali into the head of the 4  year old . When  I was pleased when he said ” No diwali for us. because thatha became a foto” , I  thought the boy has come of age, mature and all that

But the things on this side of town has been so tempting – what with lanterns, bullet pattasu and all that. The boy wanted everything – from colors to lighting to pattasu. First I got home the bullet pattasu , hoping it will satisfy the pattasu cravings.But alas , when I cannot resist the inane purchases I do on jabong, how can I resist pattasu temptation from a 4 year old

Off I went, him and me in an auto to the nearest pattasu store and got back home shanku chakkara and flower pots and many sparklers, and me muttering under the breath – please forgive us thatha !

On the way back home, holding a huge pattasu agarbati, the boy proclaimed – I am liking it amma . and also mouthed – battameez dil  and a  mini jig to match it , all on the road . . The boring curd rice too was devoured with much gusto, because we were waiting eagerly to do pattasu post dinner.

So we have been having a diwali – bursting crackers , squealing in delight, happy with all the pattasu kuppai (cracker mess). In the Tamil world, your happiness quotient during diwali is directly proportional to the kuppai you manage to accumulate.

… what I intended to finally say was that amidst death, amidst mournings and amidst remembering the father in law when you have a satisfactory meal, you revel in the happiness that children bring in , what with their quirly dialogues and all . . “Every body is doing diwali, because their thatha didn’t die” ..

… What you give to your children are memories. worthy of a lifetime. Of squeals, of laughter, of bathameez dil and dialogues such as “I am liking it amma”

So laugh, have fun, enjoy the long weekend minus the status calls and emails, have fun family moments, eat food – Kya pata. Kal Ho na ho

But in all that remember your loved ones – remember them in the arachu viitta sambar and remember them in the beans poriyal that you cook for lunch . mourning happens . Every day.  In the meal you cook, to the curd rice you lick off the plate . and sighing ” Thata used to lick his hands off the plate like that “.

Thata – you are missed dearly!