How safe is our country for women??

1)We take the evening office cab. Last evening, I see a guy very curiously peeping onto our cab.Ask me why?? Because my fellow colleague(female) was sleeping unaware that someone was watching her non-stop at the traffic signal.

2)My friend took a midnight volvo bus from BLR to chennai,gets a seat next to an elderly man.They chit chat briefly(1st mistake). She dozes off to sleep( 2nd mistake)!! When she wakes up , that elderly person comments that she might have an extra marital affair simply because her body structure says so !! Whaaaaaaaat The hell was that Mister???? what was he observing whole night?

Yes her fault again no?? how can someone be brave enough to take a midnight volvo .and that too a seat next to a guy. and then also strike a conversation with him. She must be definitely bold.So let me try my tricks on her . Probably that’s what the bas**rd thought !

3) I have had various unpleasant incidents travelling to and fro from Hyd to BLR a few years so much so that me and my husband decided if I had to travel alone, I will book 2 seats on the volvo. Buy both the seats so no one can sit next to you on midnight buses.

When I told this to the APSRTC counter,he was nice enough to give me 1+half ticket once.So there were occasions when I paid 550+550 Rs to ensure peace of mind !

4)I take the evening volvo at Marathahalli.I take a aisle seat.A guy who is standing on the pretext to balance himself , puts his hand at my seat handle.And I realize he is doing more than hold the handle. Why ??? Why I ask?? Can’t he hold the over head handle than slip his hands on to my hips???

5)Very many years back, I take a bus from Rajaji ngr to office in Malleswaram . The next thing I realize is that a girl creates a lot of noise and continued to slap a guy repeatedly .She continues to say” Ghar pe maa behan nahi hai”???? . I can relate to that anger.

Guess what the other passengers said “Sakku Bidi ma” (Enough!leave the guy !!)They couldn’t bare to see the guy beaten up by a girl

Women raped in moving cars in the capital city, rape victims being ridiculed by police and the C.M ( all for vote banks , ensuring they stay in power!.

Are we reaching a all time low ??


Put your right foot in..put your left foot out..

Or should I say ” Hop a little jump a little” ???

Those are the road dividers on bannerghatta road and for the last 4 days , I have been hopping over these to drop lil D at his daycare, fully knowing that a wrong move would mean either of us falling on to traffic.

This is close to IBC knowledge Park building which is VERY VERY busy through out the day.There is a Sagar hospital too near by. There is IBM, Airtel close by and this road also leads you to Dairy Circle and to Koramangala. So you can imagine how busy this road is in the mornings and evenings

What I ask is why can’t this road have a overhead walk path for commuters?like the one we have near Bishop cotton boys?

At any time in the day, Accenture building has atleast 20-30 people stopping the on going traffic to cross the road.

Are the authorities listening?? Oh wait !!! let them finish watching videos on their cell phones.

Wanting to fly with clipped wings….

My friend on the phone to me : I work for T**, deployed at C** office.You know they have 200 databases, all of them are RAC enabled, they are PCP configured too. There is sooo much to learn.I am on support project, loads of issues to solve on this environment. even development and test env is on RAC . You know V!!  we only learn when we get hands dirty on support projects.

Me : Awwwh !! that’s so nice. how you managing. I mean do they comment if you can’t solve any of those ??? ( fully knowing what kind of knowledge me and her possessed in our previous jobs !

Her : so far ok! But I need to put in lots of efforts. The environment is very complex .I stay uptil 7 PM and take a volvo back home.I reach by 9 P.M every single day. I need to give in my best for the next 6 months till I settle down.

Me( By now my face fell.. the hopes of seeing myself working on that environment had subsided). How do you manage ?? what about the baby?

Her : so far ok! husband leaves office early so that he is home for the baby.  But you know, no time for the kid yaar!!! no reading to him… he just plays all day on his own. I didn’t have to ask any further. She was a close friend, She stayed with in-laws who took care of the baby all day  while the parents were away.

Me : (partly jealous, party acknowledging).. hmm I know. I don’t think I can survive something like that. I don’t think I can walk in every day at 9 P.M. you know too well, I don’t have a support system. I don’t think my husband would like if I walked in at 9 P.M every day!!!…and my kid falls sick often.. How will I manage such a tough environment


I sit back at my desk now, wondering who and what defines one’s career. In the job role that me and friend are in, we can be called into work anytime of the day or night !! These are the only environments you learn a lot as a techie for our domain.Can a mother survive that?Can you survive sitting at the desk for 18 hrs at a stretch…??? Can you call in at work and say my kid fell sick when you are responsible to attend to critical databases running 24*7? Can you login on a sat/sun for maintanance on env’s ???Can you rush to different regions of a city on a motor cycle , doing fire fighting for various banks/clients when their systems go down ? Can you miss coming back home one night and stay put uptil the fire is dozed at work ?Can you work on shifts? Can you login at 6 A.M for a support call , just when your toddler wakes up asking for that glass of milk?

Do we jump into Engineering blindly because the dad/brother/neighbour is into Engineering? Did you do a B.E because medical seats are far too difficult for open category !!! and a doctor’s job is all the more difficult. A lady in the apartment works night shift while her 6 yr old and 2 yr old is taken care off by grand parents+ a full time aaya. Some one in the play area once commented, the aaya is the mom because she is the one available 24/7 for the children!  The aaya is the biggest support system they have now.

Today my friend from the girl’s hostel works from home as an architect. She took a break when she had her first baby. She went back to work when the baby turned 2, did some small projects on her own.She is doing a small project for us now,telling us firmly before hand, come June she would not devote time since she is expecting her second. She doesn’t earn as much as an engineer does, but she possesses the flexibility that an engineer lacks in his/her profession.

Can you as an Engineer take the break that she took? Wouldn’t you worry that technology moved faster than you would catch up with ????

Do we make disastrous career decisions as women?