Done it !


If you lived in a small town in Tamil Nadu like I did, then you can to relate what I say. Tamil Nadu boasts of lots of temples and lots of temple festivals. Often people from many villages flocked to these temples in towns. And even as the main proceedings go on , some women would get possessed. They say possessed by God(with due respect).Their bodies would shake like crazy for a good few minutes and then they would turn normal on their own. I guess nobody ever dwells into the science of all that

Why do I write all this. The asli point is that we took part in a talent show at work and performed the iconic Lungi dance – doning lungis and what not

Considering that we decided and registered our names very late, we only had 4-5 hours to practise.And at the end of it all, I felt no different than someone possessed !

Now my name will also go down as the most Tapori woman in office. Not many dare !

So while the rest of the world churned some butter for Krishna, we churned some lassi over coconut ” Coconut mein lassi milaake”. Yaa like that !!!! ūüôā

Kalyanam Panni Paar , Veedu katti Paar


A popular saying in Tamil goes “Get a daughter married, or build a home and then talk about problems”. Roughly to suggest getting a daughter married and building a home can be the most toughest task a man can endure in his lifetime

With changing times, I do not know if getting a daughter married remains the toughest task. However what I can tell for certain is building a home and  setting it up is one of the toughest task one can endure in a life time .

More so in a family that can only take time out during the weekends.And what with even vadais and idlis bills being carefully stored for almost 6-7 years . Read the above line all over all. Yes true. Its amazing what our spouses can store in their cupboards . Along with ATM bills, I pulled out bills of beer that was consumed in 2008, our honeymoon bills that is 10 years old,our wedding invitation cards (both in English and the ones done  by his family in Telugu). Fretting and fuming, I managed to segregate some amount of the trash and rest has been neatly put back in the new cupboards of our home. Me thinks some idli vada and beer bills  consumed in the last decade have managed to escape my hands. so will rest in peace for the next decade or so.

Soon we complete 3 months in the new area in Bangalore.Our home  continues to see a steady flow of plumbers, electricians, carpenters , all with their drilling machines over the weekend, making holes all over the home driving me mad and cranky over the weekends. I mean how much saw dust can you wipe, how much drilling can your ears sustain..

“Baby Baby what do you see

I see saw dust

that makes me want to flee

All the saw dust and steady inflow of worker staff made me flee Рand flee I did, to a newly opened Tamil Brahmin restaurant in our area. I went there alone , wanted to be alone and relished a plantain leaf meal all by  myself. Idli vadai bills of the past decade be damned

If a home overflowing with carpenters and plumbers and vadai bills wasn’t ¬†enough, we saw unwelcome guests in form of a HUUUUUUUUUUGE rat . Even as we still grappling with what do we place where, this rat ¬†managed to set up his home and also produce babies. ¬†Catch me if you can seems to be his/her favorite game. So the weekends are spent cleaning up rat droppings and wondering where the foul smell is coming from.

We have been trying to desperately ¬†plug every entry point in the home. I got back from work one day to throw away a live pinkish new born mouse from the top floor. And today the husband finally managed to throw away its dead mother …. I just got back home with a huge dettol bottle to get rid of the foul smell.

what? did I hear you say pick up mickey mouse boys clothing for the 4th birthday. No thanks. Neither me nor my 4 year old is any longer enthused with M.Mouse. So much so I think the M.mouse clothes we have already should be auctioned on e-bay.

And if rats weren’t enough, this home with its double height ceiling ¬†is seeing a steady inflow of mosquitoes too. ¬†Have you seen Eega, the story of a fly that makes life miserable for Sudeep in the movie. He spends a miserable night in the company of a fly that simply wouldn’t allow him to sleep. So in the dead of the night, I ¬†walk along like a zombie with ¬†that 120 Rs waala bat trying to trap mosquitoes.

..and then there is this story book I picked recently. A lazy buffalo wouldn’t wake up early . He asks help from a crow, a dog and even a rooster. None of the animals with their ka ka , bow bow or cocka-doodle-doo can wake up the lazy buffalo in the morning. ¬†In steps a fly and he does the trick. With his constant buzzing, he managed to wake up the buffalo

So every night I think about the night scene from Eega and this story I picked for my son

I think its time we re-defined the proverb . Kalyaanam Panni Paar.Veedu set paani Paar!!!

Because I think veedu set panni paar is tougher than veedu katti paar.

And if you managed to arrive at this line, jaate jaate please suggest me what should I do with the T-series cassettes – cinema music cassettes ranging from Aashiqui and dil – stuff we managed to tag along for the last 20 years.

Should I set up a museum???

Now ready steady poooo. find the vada bills from this mess.

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Marketing in the new era


Those days in Neyveli, every once in a while, we would have some one knock on the door and sell soaps and other paraphernalia. In the sweltering Tamil Nadu heat, we often felt sorry for these marketing folks and offered a butter milk drink or a pickle so that they could finish their lunch at our verandah. Amma was nice and kind like that to those marketing people.

Cut to today – there is just too much to market – from clothes, to birthday party accessories, to insurance policies. And social media has only taken marketing to a whole new level. I receive calls from the same banks, sometimes from the same marketing personal every other day asking if I needed a credit card or a bank loan., Often I end the call within a second or so and shut the receiver down. Customer call center jobs have opened avenues for many who don’t manage to find a software job.Often all they get is a curt reply – though I must say being a Piscean , I can hardly get rude with people.

But have you realized it is not just the un-polished marketing guy with dirty shirt and dirty tie that you detest. But with social networks there are very polished middle class taking to marketing Рsome one that can speak the most polished English so much so you wonder if she is that elite Indian returned from US. At the end,  all that the person wants to do is sell a few dozen books for a 3 year old. All the more, very confidently she will make it sound that you are the only person unaware of the product.

..And then there are parents of friends . We had one visit us for Grihapravesham. His mom didn’t even wait for our Grihapravesham day to get over. She gets my phone number and makes a call even as I am clearing up pooja items and ¬†sends a 3 ¬†lakh per year insurance plan. A friendship lost – A friendship we treasured for 15 years since college. Atleast she could ¬†have waited for the auspicious day for us to be over.After all we don’t build homes every day and have an auspicious pooja.

Often you are left tongue tied with the elite middle class marketing chap.

Why this double standards. While I could cut the call from the ICICI bank insurance chap, why do I get tongue tied with someone  that looks very polished and sports sarees from FabIndia.

Oh Boy!!!


Exactly a month to go for my son’s 4th birthday. I was getting a little too bored debugging some one else’s code and I thought I could check online for some clothes for him. I wanted something different and new. Like for his 3rd birthday -I got Tee’s from different stores – some online, some I personally picked from Shoppers stop. I enjoyed doing it . The best he still uses is a naughty little monkey T shirt I picked from SS.It has almost 9 monkeys doing various activities and still remains our favourite. Since this little one also goes to the daycare , we put our clothes to good use.May be we are plain boring and very simple, we dont have flashy party wear. So ¬†the ones we use for daycare , are used for birthdays etc and the monkey T shirt in its bright blue and 9 monkeys is the one I always pull out for special occasions as well.

So with same enthusiasm as last year. I started moving from Jabong to flipkart to babyoye .Only to be utterly disappointed

Only stripes for a 4 year old. The very second I click on 4-5 year old , they load boring plains and checks.

C’mon stripes and checks – he is gonna wear it all his life

…So hold on guys, He is only 4. Show me color.Show me something playful.

..and it also makes me sad. Is my little one so big already.

Why do boys clothing get boring by the 4th year itself. not fair right ?? I mean at 36 , I can still pick interesting skirts and kurtis Рall floral and  nice as a woman . So why should a 4 year old dress like he is 36 ???

Balle Balle Indian American Jee…


********TO BE READ IN LIGHT VEIN.******************

So you must have noticed it. Where else jee ! On facebook of course

There is this entire generation that is in the mid 30’s that want to look like the Deepika’s and Katrina’s of Bollywood.Ok ! well we will say Deepika – she is the favourite of the season na – with those chiffon sarees, pallu falling off the chest,barely anything covering her modesty(watch the wedding rituals in Yeh jawaani hai deewani if you don’t agree, the pink ghagra ), ¬†gyrating to Baalam Pichkari ¬†and running after titlis.

Suddenly the ones marrying in their 30’s ¬†are embracing Bollywood like never before – from ¬†Bollywood theme weddings where the groom and the bride gyrate to some Sridevi¬†Sexy Radha ¬†number , sangeet which was never heard of in a Tamil Brahmin wedding, so much so folks that never had a wedding like that are asking for divorces and getting re-married to have a Bollywood style weddings.ok! ok sorry that was bad !.

Me not fakofying(lying) . this is an actual comment picked off facebook –¬†¬†Im so fascinated by seeing ths album..I feel like getting married again n in Bollywood “style..”happy to see you had so much fun”

Bollywood style photo shoots,dreamy gazes, staring into nowhere, a lovelorn  look. And you guessed it right yaar. The facebook comments often refer to Swiss mountains and DDLJ and the types.

Why Why Why I cannot fathom. Is it facebook that is bringing in the change or that of gloss photography . or is it Bollywood.

Today even a Tamil Brahmin wedding with its madi and aacharams has an urban photographer that has pictures of the groom carrying the bride against an American park backdrop. or the ¬†whole oonjal ceremony is so chic with ¬†titles “paal vadunja mugangal”

But first tell me where does the Indian American find time from. I mean, I have a maid who does the dishes and the cleaning but still my weekends are sooo damn busy convincing my little one to draw sleeping and standing lines.

…last but not the least ¬†, do they get those Bollywood clothes on baadege ( I mean on rent ) … I cannot fathom my Indian wallet ever buying a Bollywood style ghagra . …..

..and even if I did buy where will I wear the ghagra ?? you mean while I wait for the bus at agara ????

Looks like I am the Cinderella jee – cleaning bathrooms, doing the dishes when the maid disappears, drawing standing and sleeping lines and finishing off my son’s unfinished homework

Now going back to listening to “Paani da rang ” Boy I discovered this song and the handsome Punjabi munda some 2 years after the movie release. That’s my life ji !