Will the change happen???


Raju is a nice guy, been working in our house for a good 2 years now. A large portion of his earning and a large portion of the salary advances we give him is sent back home because either he is constructing a new room or buying furniture in his hometown in Orissa. He has been doing the ” I am going to get married didi , in March! I will go for 2 months leave” for a good one year now. Since he stays far away from home, the whole ladki seeing, short listing will be done by his family. Raju will go once his mom short lists girls for him. He voluntarily told me that the girl’s family would gift them 50,000Rs , some money will go in getting stuff for his family. I asked if that money from the girl’s side would be used to buy stuff in Bangalore, to set up home because this is where he will set up home, since he works here. But no it seems. Those gifts in the form of furniture, bedding etc will remain in Orissa only. I tried to explain for a good 5 minutes that the whole business of gifting is bad. Asked him to imagine that the 50K could be a burden for the girl’s side. But Raju argued back and said , he would have to give gifts when his sister gets married . I asked when this vicious circle of giving and getting will change. He smiled back and had no answer.

Rajiya , who comes from a family of construction workers now works in the apartment complex as a maid.Her sister, barely 20? has been married off to someone that is already married. The groom stays in Gulbarga.The groom was seeking a new wife because the first wife was too stubborn and was not taking care of the Mom-in-Law.My friend in the complex tried very hard to stop the marriage.She even went ahead and opened a bank account for the girl so that whatever little she saves, gets into a savings account. But sadly , neither the girl nor the girls side of the family listened. The girl went further and gave a good 1 lakh as deposit and rented a home for her and her husband in Bangalore. The marriage happened. What we hear now, is that the bride is given a separate home to stay. The groom does not visit her. In turn, she spends her nights crying , having a M-I-L for company.

May be now Rajiya’s family realizes the mistake they did. They run every now and then to Gulbarga to solve the matters and see how they can salvage the situation. The new bride is back in Bangalore, working as a nanny in the same house where she worked earlier. I wouldn’t be surprised that the next time she is here, she might even be carrying a baby .

Will Aamir Khan’s show change the mindset of people such as these?? Raju did not watch the show.He said he watched it for a few minutes since the people in the mohalla were saying it was good.Rajiya and her family might not have watched since the show is not dubbed in Kannada. You can read about it here

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5 thoughts on “Will the change happen???

  1. I wish they could watch this show and such shows become a trend and we see a wave of awareness beginning slowly… I have seen exactly the same kind of marriages, and seen women not understanding that they were being exploited and that they had better options. They seem to behave like loyal slaves, eager to prove they were worthy of the their master’s slavery.

  2. Maybe it won’t change the mindset of that class of people. But at least if it changes the mindset of the middle class, then slowly the change will peter down.

  3. Hello, for Rajiya, I think you can show it to her online on the website as it has a kannada version too. I feel sorry for both as their minds have been fed the stuff they believe now. How deeprooted are the stigmas in our society and what can we do to uproot them? Huge question indeed. But who will look for the answers?

  4. It is a very sad state of affairs…my heart goes out to poor Rajiya. As far the show doing good to these people, I personally feel that any form of information when aired on national TV has a variety of impact on it’s viewers. The major being people get first hand data and statistics to force them think on these lines and secondly atleast they are made aware of the options available.

    I totally understand that merely a TV show won’t cure the deep-rooted problems but atleast this is a start to seeing the people raise their genuine concerns, bringing awareness of the the enormity of these evils and tell people the possible outcomes. This will at least make many (if not Rajiya ) try to work on these issues in their own strength and surroundings.

  5. The change is happening. Even if say just 10 people got effected. It is worth it. Also, a lot of change is cumulative, it may not be perceptible but it is happening. Some one fine day when it reaches one quantum, it will be seen. We should & anyone who believe wants to see the change should keep doing whatever they can and at their disposal.

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